“Did you ever have to make up your mind?”
It’s good to have choices
in life, but choosing something based on one factor or motive may or may not
lead to a desirable outcome. This week I
find myself selecting a wedding venue with my fiancé. I keep secretly hoping
one with a tennis court will show up to make my decision twenty times easier. I
can’t help but draw comparisons between wedding planning and another transitory
period of my life: graduating from high school and choosing a college.
I recall making tennis
my “x-factor” in my final college decision-making process. I knew two things
back in high school when I was choosing which college I would attend: that I
wanted to play tennis and study sports management. Which school offered me the
best chance to be a part of a team? Which one presented the most attractive
overall program? What university would allow me to play at my highest level?
What could I afford, and guarantee a quality education to boot? If only
choosing the right venue for my wedding worked in a similar manner. This
engagement period is just like senior year. There is a huge lead-in (hints of a
ring) and when you finally arrive at that “senior” status (I’m engaged, he
proposed!) the excitement carries you through several months. The planning
begins immediately for the future when you enter senior year. Where will I go
to college and what will I study? Will I be able to play tennis and get a
scholarship? You start visiting colleges and making lists. In the engagement
scenario, it’s much of the same. Once the phone calls die down and news spreads
throughout the office, it’s time to get out the old pen and paper and start
listing Pros and Cons for every venue. Which one offers photography and do any
include catering in the package? What venues can I see myself falling in love
with time and time again when I look back at that big day?
I chose Fredonia State
University as my undergraduate college because it had the most personality. Looking
back, I could have chosen any of the schools I applied to because I was
accepted at all of them (just as I can choose any venue, so long as they have a
date in March when we are planning to wed). I could have gone to Niagara University
on scholarship and played on the tennis team. I could have stayed close to home
and saved on room and board, while very likely making the team as a walk-on.
But I chose FSU because that was the school where I knew I could play my best
tennis, receive an education and experience life away from home. I was sold on
the personality of the campus, and my first meeting with the tennis coach
sealed my decision. Tennis was the selling point in my heart. It’s the same way
when choosing my wedding venue. My fiancé and I are traditionalists. We want a
place that offers us the chance to bring out that part of our personalities. We
want a place that mixes well with our own personalities. We’re also romantics,
who know that whatever choice we make will create a special occasion. I’m not sure
what our x-factor is. It certainly could be tennis, as impractical as it sounds.
But I think deep down the two of us know the decision will come down to what
venue displays the best personality. It’s such a great feeling when you finally
make that choice. I remember declaring my college for the first time and
writing my name inside my tennis bag with a Fredonia sticker on it. Big choices
demand relief, and that is how I will feel when we arrive at our decision. In
the meantime, it’s time to enjoy the tennis of October with the man I love. Now that's an easy choice.
“Say yes to one and let
the other one ride…”
