Wave Jumpers

I loved visiting the Jersey Shore as a child and teenager. Some of my favorite childhood memories occurred in or around the Atlantic Ocean. My dad used to go in the ocean with me. We were wave jumpers, which simply means we'd wait for a wave to crest and then try to jump over it. It was fun to see how high we could jump. Sometimes, I'd jump so high I'd come crashing back down on my face into the salty water. My dad and I would share a laugh or two and do it all over again. And again.

Waves are a lot like fatherhood, I would imagine. Dads see their children through the peaks of their lives, or the crests. They also witness the troughs, the lowest points where there are hollows and long depressions. This is true of my father. He's been by my side for most of the happy moments. We jumped waves together on the ball field, tennis court and at various recognition award banquets. We've experienced family trips to places like Niagara Falls and Hershey Park. He's seen the milestones of me growing up, landing my first job, and getting my own place. We've experienced the crests together, whether it be my wedding day or his retirement. I've seen him at this best and it never fails to make me a proud daughter.

The troughs of life are unavoidable at times. We come down off the highest of waves to find ourselves in the lowest of places. Dad stood by me when I messed up, fell down and needed direction. He was there when Mom got sick, when I broke my wrist and when I made poor decisions. A dad is someone who jumps the waves with you and crashes down with you. I think the most important part of being a father, or a parent, is to be there for your child. Spend time with them. It doesn't matter if you are together at the crests or the troughs. It's the entire ride together that counts in the end.

The Answers

I don't have all of life's answers. There are questions I have that I will never be able to answer. I wonder why God allows sadness to enter the hearts of men and women. Must we experience sadness to truly know His love for us?
He doesn't call us to be someone we are not. He calls us to rise to the challenge of life's circumstances, even if that challenge brings us sadness. I've found that in my own life this applies: the deeper the sadness, the greater the faith. I've wrestled with sadness, and overcome that sadness with faith and hope.  Is sadness always justified? Or, are there times when we are simply feeling sorry for ourselves?
I know one thing. I know whenever sad feelings creep inside or rear their ugly head, I simply need to grab my tennis racquet and head to the courts. Though it may not be a permanent coping mechanism, tennis always gives me a sense of fulfullment and purpose. A sense of stability. It's what I do. I play tennis. It's where I feel most like myself. Tennis has never caused me any sadness. Yes, it's been upsetting or frustrating or tiring or overwhelming at times. But never has it spurred feelings of sadness. There is only one other condition that I can say this about, and that is God. God in all his ambiguity has never made me sad.
I started writing this most on January 15th and today is February 11th. I didn't really have a purpose at first. I started writing it, searching for answers to questions about sadness. One year ago today I was hospitalized for premature labor contractions. Our son's heartrate had dropped and my doctor was concerned. I remember thinking, "today is the day. This is it. I am going to have this baby today". The birth of our son didn't happen until eleven more days. In all this speculation about sadness and His love for us, I can't help but think about anxiety. Sometimes anxiety and sadness go hand-in-hand. During the anxious moments of our lives, such as premature labor, God tends to mold is into something 'more'.  He shows us that He is in control. We only need to sit back and wait to see what He does. I think this principle can also be applied to times of sadness.
If you are going through a sad time in your life, take heart. God is in control of it all.