Netphobia

“Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself will it ever get better than tonight?”

There’s an important lesson to be learned about fear. I used to be fearful of coming to the net during my singles matches. I stayed at the baseline after a serve and reverted back after short approach shots. The baseline is (arguably) safe. It’s where you can see the entire court, on both sides of the net. To me, the baseline is where I play my best tennis. Then why is it all I’ve heard from coaches, opponents and teammates is how great I play at the net? Sometimes we need others to point out to us where we excel. Through the years, I’ve gotten comfortable coming to net. It wasn’t easy at first, and I’ve failed on several occasions to put away points at net. I can now serve and volley with confidence. I follow my approach shots with forceful overhead smashes. Net play has made my singles game an effective advantage. All it took to overcome my fear was a little trust and a deep breath.

The fear of failure is not a good reason to hold back. I see this every day. A little boy clings to his mother near the pool at my apartment complex. He’s no older than five years and is afraid of the water. You can see the thought-provoking process he’s enduring as the water rests as still as a sleeping baby.  Even as his own mother coaxing him into stepping down the shallow ladder, he’s pulling back. How is it we develop trust when we depend so heavily on the instinctive fears that drive our emotions? The answer lies in holding our breath and finding the courage to trust ourselves. Try it next time you’re afraid. I’ve found it works in all situations. Almost.

One fear I’m afraid I may never overcome is the fear of losing. I can handle losing a game, but losing people is a different arena. It’s not until you lose someone you love that you realize what a crippling fear losing someone can be. The fear is so crippling you’re afraid you’ll never find the strength to overcome it. Where do you find the strength? I’ve found there isn’t a secret formula.  I guess you just live each day as if you have nothing to lose…as if you already lost it all. In other words, sometimes the only way to overcome our fears is to go with them. Admit they exist and hurt, and accept them. It’s like a partner in tennis who cheats on line calls. If you don’t have a line judge to interfere, you accept the bad calls, even if they hurt. Stare down fear and it won’t overtake you. Count your blessings. Always.

“Have you ever looked fear in the face and said I just don’t care.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vI4tBO_boB4