“I can’t help you fix
yourself”
Early autumn tennis is
always my most preferred type of activity. Even in Texas, you cannot beat the
atmosphere, comfort and steady Fall season. Yesterday morning I played singles
against an opponent with one glaring weakness. Even he would admit his service
game was nothing to write home about. My opponent’s serve is one that barely
clears the net. His slow lob serve style is consistent (he rarely double
faults) and nonthreatening. I’ve played tennis for 24 years and have always
adjusted to my opponent’s unique style. The lob serve is the one serve I just
do not have the patience to handle in my return game. My opponent’s
groundstrokes were quick, low to the ground and solid. It was his serve that
continually threw me off and frustrated me. I would be so close to the service
line after each return that it was a severe disadvantage for me to retreat to
the baseline.
As it turns out, I won
the match. But I wonder if my opponent considered his one weakness as an actual
strength by the end of our time together. Sometimes in life, we can use our
weaknesses as strengths. It helps to know your weaknesses first. I interviewed
a few potential candidates for open positions this week. A question I often ask
in interviews is the standard, “What is your greatest strength and weakness?” In
business school, they teach you to answer interview questions in a certain way.
Professors train you to identify your strengths and weaknesses and claim
something as a weakness that can be spun into strength. I’m a perfectionist. I’m stubborn. I’m an
overachiever or a workaholic. I always have to finish assignments early and
prepare weeks in advance for presentations. These are the type of “weaknesses” that
work FOR you on job interviews (providing they are true).
I know my weaknesses,
on and off the court. Outside of tennis, I identify my greatest weaknesses as
not asking for help. I had an ex-boyfriend tell me that it was an insult to him
when I did not ask or want his help. I always wondered if that was his
insecurity talking or if there really was some truth to his opinion. I think it
was a little of both. I like to be in charge of my own destiny. I like to call
my own shots and do things myself. This self-sufficient and independent
attitude has worked FOR me and against me. It has made me a great singles
player (I am good at doubles, but there is too much reliability on the other
person). This attitude is the reason I am a reliable, accountable and
dependable employee. Bosses know they can count on me and usually do not have
to show me the way. When I falter, fumble and fail, it’s much easier for me to
beat myself up than blame another. I’ve been in situations where I asked for assistance
and the outcome was not desirable. Quickly, I learned to rely solely on myself.
Every leap of faith has betrayed me.
This is clearly a
weakness. If I stretch it ever further, it is a weakness because it has caused
me to be less assertive and hard to read. I don’t always express myself
correctly because I do not ask for help or take time to explain how things need
to be done. Just ask my mother. Most people outside family members tell me I am
hard to read. In fact, every person I have ever dated has sounded like a broken
record with this same song and dance playing back to me: “I just don’t know what
you’re thinking half the time, you’re so hard to read”. On the flip side, with
two outs and the bases loaded in a softball game, that same poker face made me
a very effective pitcher. Opponents did not see me rattled, and it intimidated
them. You most often win the mental game when you play it cool in sports.
Co-workers admire how I do not allow my emotions to dictate my job. This
quality in a manager has its advantages, but can be problematic if
assertiveness is lacking. I know my weaknesses. I am aware of the areas in
which improvement is necessary. But I now also realize you can play your
weaknesses to your advantage, as my opponent did in yesterday’s match. Everyone
brings something to the table, strengths or weaknesses. All can be beneficial
under certain circumstances. It helps to identify them, break them down and use
them when the situation calls for it.
“My weakness is that I care
too much”
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