The Eager Listener

“…and in my heart I find a need for Him to be my savior”

Have you ever been so focused on seeking an answer that you miss the most important words spoken by another person? Are you an eager listener? What do you do when the answer is unexpected, unsatisfactory, or worst of all, completely disregarded?

I admit to being a selective listener, choosing the words I want to hear and tuning out the others. I think my listening skills have improved over the years. As children, we certainly do not listen with purpose. We ask for things we do not need and cannot have.  I was no exception as a child. During the holiday season, I always asked for the gifts I wanted by blatantly spelling it out to my parents. As most children do during Christmas time, I would go so far as writing a list and circling pictures of toys in the catalogs kept in our home. I received many of the gifts on my circled and scribbled-down wish lists. Other requests were neglected, either due to expense or necessity. When I failed to receive these gifts, I would become almost angry. I would kneel down at night and ask God to bring these treasures into my life. I promised to be good the rest of the year. My naïve faith and innocence couldn’t bring about answers. I failed to listen to God’s reasons because my mind was only focused on my reasons. Little did I know back then that learning to live without the things we desire is one of the toughest lessons in life. Our reasons are not always in line with God’s reasons.

A few years ago, I prayed every night about one particular person. I was so sure God should have been listening to me. God wasn’t listening to me, and I didn’t understand. As the Aaron Shust song goes, “I am not skilled to understand”. I was looking for the answer I wanted, instead of listening to God. He had His reasons. Though I could not understand the reasons, I knew they were coming from God. Still, I was angry. I was angry with God. This anger persisted until it channeled into fear and hurt. I cried and pouted inside, just as I had when I didn’t un-wrap my preferred Christmas present as a kid. I became so consumed with hearing my answer that I missed out on what God was trying to tell me. God has his reasons, I am convinced.

Why don’t we listen? We miss a lot of the good stuff when we don't listen. It's good to be an eager listener, but not the type of eager that is impatient and stubborn. There is a distinction between eager listening and listening with an eager ear. 

Perhaps we don’t listen to God because we do not believe. In Luke’s gospel, Jesus spoke to the council before his death, “If I tell you, you will not believe, and if I question you, you will not answer”.  We do not listen. It’s not that God isn’t providing answers, or even that he does not hear. He hears everything. He will never ignore us. We just do not listen. More often than not, we lack the patience and understanding to listen. This happens in life, as much as in prayer.

An eager listener is hopeful and believing. The eager listener is just eager for answers.

Today, I still seek God’s help in answering prayers. I am more eager than ever for God’s fulfilling promise. He is the light, the truth and the way. I wait eagerly for His guidance in my life. I continually seek His way, though I stumble, fumble and crumble apart along the path. Just maybe that unexpected answer will arrive. In time, God does provide. The reason I know this is because I have seen his results. I can testify to His truth. I am a witness to his answers. God answered my prayers to become a college tennis player. He answered my prayers to save my mother from breast cancer. His answer to my prayer for a healing heart was completed in time. None of these prayers were as I planned them. My plan would have included my answers, and I am not convinced those answers would have been as wonderful. And so, I eagerly wait on Him again. I am listening for that voice, the one I seek every morning.

“...my strength, my solace from the spring”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gt0WluTpFTg

Life with Compassion

 

“There’s got to be so much more to life than this”

We all want something more in life. I don’t care who you are, there is something out there you desire. Life is never just “good enough” for any of us. We naturally crave all of life’s riches and hope for something better. Do we ever think of other people? Those who crave what we have, those who might never know the riches of the life we take for granted?

I was recently playing tennis with a friend who had improved a lot since the last time we played.  I complimented him on the skills he now sharpened and noted how terrific a player he was becoming. He told me he knew he wasn’t good enough for me and he wanted to be better. He wanted to get into better shape, build muscle and play every day he could. I admired his will to improve but it left me thinking about my own life. I often worry I will never be good enough or have enough of what I desire. I feel there is something missing, and if I could only find that something, my entire life would be complete. Before I moved to Texas, I couldn’t wait to find a tennis partner and play tennis all year round. I become something “more” when I am on the tennis court. It’s a feeling I have never experienced at any other point in my life. I’ve been successful in school, at work, in activities, in writing…and yet, I never feel it is enough. I want something more. But it’s not of the material kind; it’s more of an emotional gasping. I feel a greater purpose awaits and I am not certain how to tackle those feelings. I just know they exist and I must discover their meaning. I must capture that same feeling I get when there is nothing but my racquet, a tennis ball and a net.

This October I decided to sponsor a child through Compassion International. I found out about Compassion while attending a Newsboys concert at a Baptist Church in Austin. The organization has a proven track record and is a legitimate charity. The monthly investment seemed minimal compared to the world of difference I could make in one child’s life. The little girl I sponsor is from Ecuador and her name is Belinda. Our names are so similar that I couldn’t pass on her. I am sure Belinda wishes for more out of her life. If I can provide her with just one day of wishes, I hope to do so.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bIQf5dD7Y9k

“I want my life to count every breath…I want to live with abandon”