Finishing

We all have our battles to fight. Never forget the people God uses to help you defeat them.

"And when you're tired of fighting, chained by your control..."

I flipped over the rubbery maroon scorecard. One-zero in my favor. The net between us prevented us from getting too close. I knew not to get too close. She knew too. It would hurt too much when she went away. If only nets could really spare us the pain of getting close. The scorecards, with their jumbo white numbers, always seemed to stick together. Like good friends in sports jerseys.

We finished the set. I won. It was the last tennis match she would ever play and it wasn’t even a complete match. Dayle was too tired to continue. Her blond hair, which usually lit up her face, was crumbling thin. But her laugh, even after she lost a match, was something I would never forget. It came from a deep place and bellied out of her with such prettiness and comfort.  

She wore designer sunglasses the last time we spoke. I stood in front of the club admiring her courage. I still saw the troubled light in her eyes through the shaded fashion frames.  I could taste her fear and smell her sorrow.

She was my mentor, and good friend. I tried to emulate her way with people, her persona. I respected her keen judgment and knack for decision-making. She had impeccable instincts, a mother-like quality that captured my pride. At times, I felt as if I was her very daughter.

Nothing prepares you for death. Even when you see it coming and know the shadow of death is lurking, you are pained with shock and sadness.

I scurried to my car after saying goodbye. My pulse ached for a wrist. It yearned for human contact, a warm touch. I needed a hand to hold, to tell me everything was going to be fine. I watched Dayle from a distance because I could no longer stand to be nearer to her than I already had been. She carried a green purse and began to tuck her white hat into it. Dayle folded the hat and her brilliant hands secured it loosely inside the purse. I saw her yawn her last yawn. Watered eyes. Wide open mouth. Smiling ears. My heart knew, somehow sensed the end.

"Your world's not falling apart; it's falling into place."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIZitK6_IMQ